Detoxification
by LightningFuryStrike13
Summary: When Harry picked up a Ton Tongue Toffee and it didn't have the expected effect the Weasley twins grew concerned.


George lay back on Fred's side of the bed and ran his hands through hair the exact same shade and texture of his brother's. He ran his hands over his face, so familiar and imagined just for a moment that it was Fred's eyelashes tickling his palms, Fred's lips caressing his fingertips. Magical identical twins were rare but they ran in the Prewitt family. No one was really surprised when Fred and George were born. Their uncles in fact had been ecstatic. A pity they were killed only a month after the twin's birth although, George reflected bitterly, at least Fabian and Gideon had died together.

George took up his wand and gently caressed his throat imagining for just a second it was Fred's finger trailing down the fragile vein. He had laid there in that bed many times over the last several months dreaming of this day. First he'd had to make sure that all of their plans were in place. It had taken some fast talk on his part to get the goblins along for the ride but it would all be worth it.

Today however he'd finished the last of the preparations. Wordlessly George cast the curse. It didn't take much to completely sever the important jugular vein. George didn't even take the chance of his throat moving to say the curse. The weakest cutting curse cast by a first year could have killed him at that distance. It tore across George's entire throat causing a magnificent blood spatter to cover the room. Less than a minute later George Weasley joined his brother in death.

 _A month later_

Harry climbed the steps to Gringotts with a heavy heart. He'd hoped after the funerals after the Battle of Hogwarts that'd he'd never have to bury another friend. Of course he wasn't the only one who'd been blindsided by George's suicide. Ron had been with Harry when they'd opened the door to the twin's apartment and looked right into the newly blood painted bedroom. Molly had been inconsolable for weeks. Harry and Percy had been the ones to make sure the twins were buried right next to each other. Percy had been especially useful in this endeavor as normally suicides weren't allowed to be buried on hallowed ground but Percy had found loopholes in laws most people didn't know existed. The only note they'd found from George had said "Bury me next to Fred" and their least favorite brother had done everything in his power to fulfill that wish. Now Harry had been summoned to execute the twin's will. This was just the preliminary meeting the Gringotts letter had said after Harry got everything in order the beneficiaries would be called.

Harry was immediately shown to a back office were an impatient goblin was waiting. The room was very sparsely decorated compared to the normally opulent bank with only a single hard wooden chair with wide heavy arms sitting in front of the goblin's desk. There wasn't even a rug covering the cold floor. "Ah yes finally you have arrived. Luckily for you the twins were such exceptional customers and such smooth talkers or this meeting would be going very differently." Harry jumped in his chair as the goblin shouted out a harsh word in Gobblygook. Seven goblins immediately rushed in and Harry found himself heavily bound with chains around his arms, legs, and chest. His head was tilted back and firmly bound in place as a goblin approached with a long tube and a funnel. Another closely followed with a gallon jug full of a foul looking dark green potion. Harry could only helplessly wiggle his fingers and toes as his mouth was forced open and the tube forced down his throat. Then they began to pour the foul potion down his throat. The last time Harry heard before the pain hit his body was the goblin checking off a list. "Step 1 of the Weasley twin's master plan: Get Harry to drink a heavy duty detox potion."

The pain that Harry endured for the next month was something that could only accurately be described by a drug addict was has quit cold turkey after a heavy addiction. The goblins watched on impassively as potions of various colors seeped out his every pore. Blood poured from his eyes, ears, nose and mouth and the screaming was only quieted when yet another tube was forced down his throat to pour water and gruel into him and more detox potion. They continued regular doses of the detox potion until the sweat that ran from his pores was clear then continued forcing water and gruel into him until the detox potion finally left his system. Only then did they finally unchain the Boy-Who-Lived.

 _Outside the bank_

"How can it possibly be taking so long?" Ginny grumbled her arms crossed over her chest while she stared up at the bank angrily.

"I'm sure I don't know." A hard thing for Ms. Granger to say but true none the less.

"Seriously it's been three bloody months." Ron threw up his arms.

When Harry hadn't come home that first day they'd been worried and frantic but the next morning the goblins were quite clear that Mr. Potter was inside the bank and that he was busy with business matters and would be unavailable for some time. Since then they'd return regularly to hear the exact same answer from increasingly irate goblins. Today they'd been escorted to the door. Unless they had business to conduct they were no longer to waste the goblin's time with their incessant questions.

"Obviously none of _you_ are heirs in any of the large estates nor are you of the gentry. Some of them go to the bank to conduct business and do not come out again for days, weeks and those are only those conducting normal affairs. To my understanding Mr. Potter has not one but two highly neglected estates to put to rights. He may not be finished until next year sometime! And I'll warn you now I will not be nearly as gentle as the tellers inside. If you continue to come here I will not hesitate to use force." The goblin guard gripped his spear tightly and eyed them meanly until they began to take several steps back only to bump into someone.

Narcissa Malfoy caught herself from the Gryffindor's stumble. "Excuse me. I couldn't help but overhear." Indeed there were several suddenly very busy witches and wizards looking anywhere but at the bank where they stood. A goblin guard speaking was rare and this one had done nothing to lower his voice when he had chewed out the concerned friends of the Boy-Who-Lived. "This creature is quite correct. I, myself, am going into the bank to conduct business and I do not expect to be done for some weeks." The fact that the normally impeccably dressed witch was wearing soft looking blue robes, although of course they were still expertly tailored and was followed by a house elf carrying several bags could attest to this. The Malfoys immediately following the war had been ensconced inside Gringotts for months as they dealt not only with their own affairs but all the newly acquired estates they had inherited after the war and the ends of many families. Once they were finished the male members of the Malfoy family were immediately taken into custody. Draco would serve a year in Azkaban while his father was to be imprisoned for six. Only Harry speaking at Narcissa's trial had kept her from spending time in the hellish prison as well.

"He's already been in there for three months though." Hermione explained, "Shouldn't he have at least come out to visit, or sent a letter or, or something to let us know he's alright at least!"

"Ah I see the goblin's issue now. You don't trust them when they say he's fine. That's very insulting to a goblin, especially in matters of business. It's probably only because you are Heroes of war that the goblins hadn't tossed you out on your ears before now." Narcissa looked appalled, "Let me give you some advice regarding goblins. Goblins are all about business and business is business is business. If they say Cousin Harry is in the bank conducting business then he is in the bank conducting business. Goblins have been known to keep men alive when they are inches from death just to get the final i dotted and t crossed on his will. I realize that there was some bad blood between the goblins and yourselves regarding an escaped dragon or something but Cousin Harry is the Heir to both the Black and Potter estates as well as who knows how many others…to put it simply Cousin Harry represents too much business and income for the bank to ever let him die. It benefits them too much if he's allowed to live." Narcissa paused hoping that repetition and dumming it down for them had helped get her point across. The mudblood looked appalled but at least somewhat understanding while the blood traitors simply looked mutinous but accepting. "Now if you'll excuse me." The pureblood witch swept past them with the tiny house elf following carrying several suitcases.

Deep inside the bank Narcissa was of course correct. Harry was very much alive and well for all that he seemed to be drowning in paperwork. Scrolls were stacked four to six feet high in some places around a massive desk. The desk was easily the size of a dining room table made of heavy, black, scarred wood. In one corner of the desk sat a smaller desk and chair appropriately goblin sized as a young goblin barrister was also reading over several different scrolls.

Harry, once he'd come out of his detox stupor alive but very weak and confused, was immediately took to task by the goblins for neglecting his estates. It had slowly come out that while the Weasley twins had made a deal with the goblins that kept them from exacting retribution on the Golden Trio part of the comeuppance was getting Harry to themselves, without reserve, for as long as it took. Most wizards ensconced themselves in the bank by choice but could leave if they wanted to. Harry did not have that option at the moment. There may not have been a shackle around his ankle but he was trapped deep in the bowels of the bank nonetheless. After what had been discovered when he wasn't hyped up on too many conflicting potions and spells he wasn't sure he wanted to leave right away.

First there were years of power limiting potions given every 6 months right up until Dumbledore's death. Part of this Harry could understand and even forgive. He was an immensely powerful wizard and without limiters could have easily blown himself and his relatives sky high with uncontrolled magic. What he could not forgive was that Dumbledore had to be present for each potion given and therefore definitely knew all about Harry's childhood but had done nothing. The power limiters had also made him less of a target to unscrupulous types to whom he'd been a shiny beacon of potential power. Before a wizard's 17th birthday magical power can be siphoned off usually with great harm to the young wizard. That was one of the reasons for Hogwarts. The magical castle itself was a limiter and a siphon helping to control accidental magic while protecting children from those that would drain them and steal their magic for themselves.

There were friendship potions, love potions, lust potions, wit sharpening potions, poisons, prank potions, forgetful potions, clumsy potions, trust potions, antidotes, protection potions, the list was exhaustive and thorough. In the document the Twins had left they'd first noticed something was wrong when Harry had eaten one of their candies without the expected result. Further investigating revealed that Harry had been building up a tolerance to the massive amount of potions in his system. Through questioning the houseelves at the castle and watching Harry carefully they'd discovered that nearly everyone he came in contact with was dosing the Boy Who Lived with something.

Some of it was harmless. Hermione, it seemed, dosed herself and everyone who studied with her with wit-sharpening potion and her general worry over Harry had her slipping almost inconsequential potions to him frequently; teeth health potions and nutrient potions and the like in her usual disregard for other's opinions but motherhening worrisome way. Granted Harry recalled her asking to give him such potions once or twice but had been embarrassed and avoid the question.

Some was a little more conniving. Mrs. Weasley, Ron and Ginny seemed to slip Harry trust, friendship and love/lust potions respectively every chance they got. Several girls from several years had plied Harry with love and lust potions almost every day. The Slytherins were also notorious for slipping him prank potions along with a few more harmful varieties.

Meanwhile Snape was spelling antidotes and general protection potions into Harry every time he came anywhere near the boy. Snape's masterful concoctions over rode almost every other harmful potion before it could even take effect. Unfortunately those given to him by the Weasleys while at their home didn't get counteracted until they were already a part of his system.

Madame Pomfrey was probably the most prolific potion provider of them all but also the most benign. She was usually administering needed healing potions while also dosing Harry with nutrient replacement potions of a higher grade than Hermione could really afford. She had not been oblivious to Harry's neglect but she'd also discovered that every time she brought it up she was being Oblivated and so after first year kept her mouth shut while pouring potions into Harry every chance she got to try to make up for his neglect. One could not really blame her. Harry probably wouldn't be nearly as strong and healthy today if she had not.

Even Sirius and Remus gave him potions. Theirs were perhaps the most dangerous though the most well meant. Remus, in a way typical to one so cursed and so desperate that the fate not fall on another, had given him a potion that infused his blood with silver making him effectively poisonous to werewolves but also completely unable to survive their bite. From the duration it appeared to have been given to him in his third year and they were unable to completely eradicate it without replacing all of his blood so it and Sirius' potion stayed. One of the most dangerous potions he'd ingested had come from Sirius with his usual disregard for safety. Sirius had given him a Blood Adoption potion which could have killed him if it'd not been compatible. This potion was the real reason that a system that ran on blood allowed Harry to inherit the Black family as Sirius' son instead of Bellatrix as the next oldest living child. Harry took turns thinking Sirius' folly was both good and bad. On one hand it showed how much Sirius had loved Harry but now Harry had lost two fathers.

Once most of the potions were out of his system Harry was sat in front of his desk with an every present tray of food next to him and, ironically enough, nutrient potions. And so began his long education in estate management. Goblin's believed in a 12 hour work day and for months Harry did nothing but eat, sleep, and slave over documents. Once he'd gotten his energy back a bit he joined the goblin guards in their daily exercises before getting back to work.

Along the way he discovered some fascinating things among all the drivel. For instance once he noticed a frequent signature on some of the best decisions over the years he found portraits of those ancestors and had them brought to the small office he was working out of. With their help and suggestions he began to plow through the paperwork a little more quickly once he had some history on what he was doing.

There were also a lot of fun things. He was a silent owner of a small part of a Quidditch team on the Black side but also its rival on the Potter side. He had a stake in multiple properties and businesses. It turned out Sirius had gotten his Firebolt through a deal with a broom company in the Caribbean that didn't recognize his criminal status. He had houses all over the place and multiple house elves that he'd had to recharge immediately once he had his magical strength back.

He'd also had a vault dedicated to nothing but fanmail that had poured forth letters from around the world. He might have an almost inexhaustible supply of candy for the rest of his life between gifts and offers for lifetime candy for saving Great Britian. The Boy-Who-Never-had-a-real-present-before-his-11th-birthday had enough gifts to open one a day for the foreseeable future. Which he did. It was a small joy everyday to retrieve a present and open it. Some were things he was far too old for of course toys and stuffed animals but in a startling realization that Luna (purveyor of nonsensical potions that protected him from wrackspurts, nargles and ingrown toenails) would have been proud of Harry decided to keep all of the toys to play with himself and finally have that childhood he'd been denied. His bed, an old four poster in one of his vaults, was completely covered in teddy bears and other stuff animals. As his workload lessened over the months he could be found to take time out every day to play with a train set, or building towers of blocks, or just simply reading children's tales for fun. Books were a common present after his 11th birthday and boy did they cover a wide variety of topics. Once he started taken a more hands on approach to his estates going so far as to choose several homes to make livable again he started distributing toys and books in equal measures among them keeping his favorites in his living vault were he ate, slept and conducted business with his account manager, Lavaglass.

Then there were some not so nice things. On the Black side unsurprisingly there were interests in more than a few unsavory businesses. As much as Harry wanted to cut ties to them he'd been convinced to deal with them more carefully by his advisers. He also had over a third of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. Which as the twins had divided it out among their family meant that Harry had controlling interest. Right now however Lee Jordan had the second biggest part of the pie and was managing and running the company and Harry was only too happy to let him.

The last bit of unsavory business was an incentive from the Ministry. Much like Russia after World War II they were encouraging people to pair up and start building families. There were incentives of course. Mrs. Weasley as the mother of seven could have gotten quite a check if she'd been of the age to be in the running. Harry had no doubt that Ginny was chomping at the bit to be just as proactive. But the Lust/Love potions had turned him off to that idea. Maybe after he got out of here and met her without potions crowding his brain he'd reassess. However a more serious proclamation was the revival of old families. Those who were heir to more than one line were being encouraged to engage in polyamourous relationships in order to create a variety of children to hand names down to. Muggleborns, surprisingly, were being encouraged to marry into pureblood families. Both to strengthen the lines but also because muggleborns did not have an old Wizarding name to carry forth. Harry wondered more than a little how such things were getting passed but was rather busy with other things.

After well over a year Harry got an unusual surprise one day. Luna Lovegood was sitting at the foot of his bed, surrounded by teddy bears and having tea party.

"Uh..hullo Luna." Harry blushed embarrassed at his lack of clothing as he'd taken to sleeping naked with no one to see him. He felt the blankets pooled in his lap but grabbed a large fluffy purple unicorn to hug as well.

"Hullo Harry." Luna looked at him with her usual dreamy expression. "Tea?"

She was real. Harry blinked a few times before replying. "Yes please." He reached under his pillow for his wand and spelled his trousers on before crawling through Luna's guests to sit at her table.

The tea was real too. "I'd say 'Lovely morning' but I doubt you've seen one in a while."

"I've been out to my estates a few times."

"But you did not visit."

"I'm sorry. Part of the deal the twins made with the goblins is that they get to keep me until my affairs are in order and they were in quite a snarl. It's been a year or so hasn't it?"

"A year, and a day."

"Sooo…."

"Since you hadn't visited me I decided to visit you."

"How? I know, uh my fellow Gryffindors tried a few times."

"I walked in and asked."

"I thought it didn't work that way."

"Not when you were so busy but I knew after a year you'd have more free time."

"Indeed. Mostly it's day to day stuff and sorting through historical stuff. They say I should be able to leave in a few more weeks. After that I need only come in a week every quarter."

"Goodness. Daddy manages to get by with three days annually."

"I wish. So is this visit just to visit or did you need something."

"I wish I could say it was only to visit and if it were not so pressing I'd leave it to another day once our friendship was reestablished."

"I do get some news down here. The marriage and babies thing the Prophet's trying to put such a nice happy spin on?"

"MmmHmm. I need a husband."

"What about Neville?"

"Neville married Hannah Abbott, and Chelsea Nice four months ago and just as a warning he's been courting Ginny."

"He can have her."

"What?" Harry would say Luna looked surprised but then she always did a bit with her pale eyebrows against her smooth pale skin.

"She was feeding me love and lust potions. For a long time. The twins found out. Part of their will was that I be detoxed. Seems like everyone was feeding me potions. Of course you knew all that." Harry sat up and couldn't help but glare at Luna a bit. "Potions to protect against Nargles and Wrackspurts. Also known as potions to combat Lust and Manipulation. Oh and one for Ingrown Toenails..umm thanks for that one. Useful." Harry trailed off awkwardly.

"I…see things I cannot always explain. I knew you were being beset by Nargles and Wrackspurts and you were my friend. I only wanted to help."

"Then why didn't you ask me Luna?"

"I did Harry. You didn't believe me. But they were getting worst and worst that I just couldn't sit by and let them devour you! And you didn't take very good care of yourself while on the road. It was just a precaution."

"Thanks Luna. I…forgive you. Yours was just a drop in the bucket. Any way they didn't make much difference compared to the flood of others. Yeah we got kind of gross there at the end especially. Hermione didn't. Kept herself neat as a pin. Couldn't figure out how at first. One of my many fan presents over the years was a book series called, _Spells for the Teenage Boy_. There's a lot more spells and potions in there for cleanliness than you'd think."

"Fan presents?"

"Yeah. Dumbledore didn't want me knowing about being famous so all my fan mail was redirected to a vault here at Gringotts. It's been expanded more than a few times. Part of my penance is cleaning it out. I'm wading through the fan mail as best I can but there's a lot of presents and candy too. I figure I'll just take it all out with me when I go but for now I've been opening a present every day. Hence," Harry snagged a tiny black teddy bear, hand sewn by an old woman in Glasgow, his initials were embroidered on one foot. He'd sent a very nice letter thanking the woman but it returned unopened. She died since making the bear. He found later that without any remaining family she'd willed him what she had upon her death and hence given him another name to carry on. She wasn't the only one to do so. "I got a lot of toys. I didn't really have any toys at all growing up. I've been doing a lot of playing around when I'm not working."

Luna smiled, "That sounds wonderful Harry."

"I thought you'd approve." Harry smiled back at her. Honestly he'd never really been mad at Luna. Hermione was off the hook as well or she would be after he had a talk with her.

"Just do me a favor after we're married. If you want to help me and I don't listen at first keep asking, slap me even. Don't just dose me without telling me."

"So you will marry me?" Luna perked up happily.

"Are you okay if I have to marry more than one girl? Or that our children might have a variety of surnames? We might have to have a lot of children too."

"I want a big family so my children will never be lonely."

"Me too."

Luna and Harry got married that very afternoon. Any marriage for the Boy-Who-Lived was bound to be a circus and so he'd already decided to have all private weddings. Luna would even continue using her maiden name at first. There would, of course have to be a Lovegood heir born but after that she knew her children may have a variety of surnames. Perhaps even all of them just for fun until they reached majority and could decide which family they took after more.

After a very embarrassing but frank conversation with Luna about what he found attractive both physically and mentally in a woman Luna promised to look into some sister wives for him. Meanwhile Harry continued to ensure his numerous offspring would never want for anything.

A few more weeks, a few more conjugal visits, and surprisingly a few more marriages Harry finally was able to leave the bank. Avoiding Diagon Alley, which still had reporters waiting for him to emerge, he flooed to The Kiln, the Potter family estate. At first Harry had wondered why his parents hadn't stayed at the large manor instead of the much smaller cottage they died at but was informed by Padma, one of his Ravenclaw wives, that the Fidelus Charm could not be applied over a large area. While the wards on the manor were impressive they could still have been brought down easily by an immensely powerful wizard such as Voldemort and had been during his original search for Harry. Harry had to pay a team of Ward makers to get things back up to snuff and then learn and apply even more of his own afterwards.

Thanks to Luna's search Harry ended up with at least one wife from each house. Frida Drodephile was a Slytherin two years younger than Harry. Padma and Partavi were from Ravenclaw and Gryffindor respectively. Hermione was a Gryffindor of course. Clarice Goldleaf was a Hufflepuff from their year. Luna was a Ravenclaw of course and last but not least Gabrielle was Fleur's younger sister from France.

Seven wives in total and Harry still didn't know if it would be enough. Besides the Potter and Black lines and the lines brought in by his wives he'd inherited twenty more minor family lines. As they sat arrayed in front of him the enormity of the task before him dawned and he rubbed his hands harshly over his face. He wondered if Neville was having this much trouble. After stopping by Bill's, where he met and then married Gabrielle, and explaining what the twins had done and how he didn't feel right being with Ginny anymore the redhead girl had wasted no time accepting Neville's proposal.

None of his current wives were redheads he was glad to note. He blamed the potions for clouding his mind to just how much like his mother Ginny looked and couldn't think of the times they'd spend hidden away in broom closets now without feeling vaguely nauseous. Thankfully they'd never gotten any further than snogging.

After losing his virginity to Luna, and thanking magic that one embarrassing fan present had been a book on bedroom techniques as well as spells to help in that area, Harry had since conjugated his remaining marriages. Luna, Gabrielle, and Clarice were already pregnant. The girls were on a rotation right now each assigned a day of the week. Right now they were all living at The Kiln but he'd called this meeting to give each wife a house of her own. There was a Tower Library in Switzerland that was going to Hermione and a chateau in France for Gabrielle. After that it was a grab bag of properties around the world. Some of the largest ones he was keeping as general family houses.

Luna took a nice villa in Greece. Padma and Parvati took a mansion in Egypt. Frida took a plantation in South America and Clarice took a small castle in Germany. That still left Harry with far too many properties but maybe his children would like them later.

Now that that was settled Harry stood up and stretched before holding his hand out to the pouty lipped Frida. She gave him a sultry smile and walked upstairs with him. Okay maybe this having seven wives business wasn't that bad.

Epilogue:

Hermione had four children three girls and one boy. She was the caretaker of the family libraries keeping her home as a main hub of all the books. Two of her girls became Ravenclaws while her other two children became Gryffindors.

Frida had eight children, five of which were boys, one of which decided to carry on the Potter name. She became a Herbalist and advised Harry on his farming. It was an interest they shared and despite not knowing her at all when they married Harry eventually became very close to Frida.

Luna had nine children, six of which were girls. She flitted about the globe looking for her strange animals taking whole scores of children with her on safari. She actually discovered and documented a number of new species. As of yet she's still looking for a crumpled horned snorklak.

Padma and Parvati had fifteen children between the two of them. Two sets of magical twins, one of which was named Fred and George. They mended the rift that had formed during Hogwarts and lived quite happily together. They were by far the most nurturing wives and Harry delighted in basking in their love.

Clarice had only two children, both boys one of which took on the Black family name. She oversaw mining operations on various family sites but tragically died during a cave in. Her boys were raised by Hermione. Both became Slytherins.

Gabrielle had all girls, ten in total. Since the daughter of a Veela is always a Veela Harry nearly tore his hair out keeping the flock of them safe. They went to Beauxbatons like their mother and aunt which had protections in place for creatures like the Veelas.

Harry kept himself very busy with Estate Management, Marriage and Fatherhood. Despite having forty-eight children he still had family names to continue on and in a move that shocked several he began giving some of those names away to others instead.

Ron floundered around for several years alone. While he achieved a lifelong dream of managing if not playing for the Chuddly Cannons he was alone well up into his forties because as the sixth son to an already poor family he had very little in the way of marriage prospects. He hated Harry for a number of years for 'stealing' Hermione but eventually got over it and was shocked when Harry offered him the Chuddly family name which came with it of course the team he loved. Under Ron's ownership the team actually became quite successful and Ron fell in love and married a fan. His wife was also a 6th child and together they had only one child, a son, who they doted on completely.

Neville lived quite happily ever after. He married every girl he'd ever crushed on. He had three children from each wife and barred his Great Uncle Algie from ever coming near them. He grew one of the most impressive gardens in England and with his extensive farming supplied all of the needed supplies to St. Mungo's who had long cared for his parents. Nearly forty years after the attack his parents were finally cured but had a difficult time acclimating. They lived out the rest of their lives with Neville and his wives and their grandchildren.

Ginny had a very successful if brief Quidditch career that she returned to in between pregnancies. While Harry had been a dream her sixth year at Hogwarts had shown her that Neville was the hero she truly longed for. She did eventually apologize to Harry and got his tentative forgiveness in that she'd never pushed him too far.


End file.
